Arthur Murray Dance Center of Cranford
  • 07/08/2016
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The Arthur Murrays’ Dance Secrets: Etiquette Of The Ballroom (Part 3)

Part Two found here.

Conversation

This is a matter of personality but there are general rules of good manners to consider. The first taboo is don’t argue! Dancing is a partnership that depends on accord. Two people cannot move as one and enjoy the rhythm of the music together unless they feel harmonious toward each other. So, avoid subjects that might breed discord; such as politics, religion, school elections, and so on. Even when you discuss songs or bands, remember that the sweetest words ever spoken are: “I think you’re right!”

There are some people who cannot talk as they dance. Theirs is a companionable silence because it is obvious that their minds are occupied with the rhythm of the music and the pleasure of the dance.

The strong, stern, silent man and the frosty-faced, forbidding female don’t belong at a dance. Their partners find them unpleasant and the onlookers will avoid them. There may be some reason not to talk as you dance… but always keep your smile on!

The walkie-talkie chatter-box is a conversational hazard, too. There are always a few at every dance… they are so keyed up or so shy that they have forgotten all about Silence Being Golden. Their chatter is so steady that it drowns out the loudest band. Like the brook, they ripple on and on. Nothing can be done about it but you can profit by their example!

Introductions

Introducing people is a bugbear to those who are shy… and to those who are young and unpracticed. Actually, the only difficult part is to remember names—and to have them at the tip of your tongue. Otherwise, your cues are easy… you always present the man to the lady, mentioning her name first. Such as: “Lillian, this is Mr. Brown—Miss Smith.” Or, if you are not on a first-name terms with her, you can say: “Miss Smith, may I present Mr. Brown.”

When introducing two women, you present the younger one to the older, such as: “Mrs. Jones, this is Miss Smith.” If they are of equal age, it doesn’t matter which name is mentioned first. “Mrs. Jones, I’d like to have you know Mrs. Brown.”

Acknowledging Introductions

It is good training to make a point of remembering names; therefore many people form the habit of acknowledging introductions by repeating the name. Such as: “How do you do, Mrs. Brown.” If you have not really heard the other person’s name, it will flatter them to have you say: “Did you say Mrs. Brown? …How do you do.”

Don’t make the famous mistake that was made by a young girl, who was too shy to ask to have the name repeated—and who, later in the evening, asked: “I’m not quite sure—how do you spell your name?” “S-M-I-T-H, plain Smith,” he replied.

Certain replies to introductions have fallen into too much common usage and are not considered good taste. As an example: “Pleased to meet you”… is no longer used. Yet, “I’m so glad to know you” is quite acceptable.

A woman does not rise to acknowledge introductions, unless she is the hostess, or is being introduced to an older person. A hostess rises to greet all of her guests, men or women.

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